


The Office Affair

by Cheree_Cargill



Category: WKRP in Cincinnati
Genre: Comedy, Fraterization, Gen, Misunderstandings, Office Sex, WKRP in Cincinnati - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 01:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19140751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheree_Cargill/pseuds/Cheree_Cargill
Summary: Bailey and Johnny have a one night stand, but then immediately regret it.  Meanwhile, Les misreads events around the office and things threaten to escalate out of control as Herb gleefully joins in to add to the fire.





	The Office Affair

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: This story is Rated PG13 and contains suggested sexual situations. The WKRP IN CINCINATTI characters are property of MTM Enterprises and CBS. The rest of the story is copyright (c) 1985 Cheree Cargill. No infringement is intended on any legally existing copyright. Originally printed in the fanzine "Southern Lights #1", edited by Ann Wortham, 1985.
> 
> NOTE: I had to scan in an old copy of this and realize that there are probably many errors because it was printed in a tiny font and my scanner didn't read it very well. I'm still catching mistakes and correcting them, so bear with those seeming typos. I'll catch them all eventually. Meanwhile, enjoy!

"Jennifer, can I talk to you?" Bailey Quarters asked hesitantly.

The beautiful blonde at the reception desk swung her chair around and smiled at the other woman. "Of course, Bailey. What about?"

"Men."

Jennifer's smile widened, causing the dimples in her cheeks to deepen. "Well, then, I'm sure I can help you."

"Oh, good." Bailey pulled a chair up closer to the reception desk and leaned in confidentially. "What would you do if you were really, really attracted to a guy? Someone you'd known for a long time, only he didn't know you liked him?"

"Are you interested in going out with him? Well, the logical thing to do is to let him know it. Men aren't very bright creatures, you know. They'll go for years before something like that dawns on them naturally. Sometimes we women just have to give them a little push in the right direction."

"And that usually works?"

Jennifer smiled knowingly again. "Trust me."

"I'll do it then!" Bailey answered with conviction. "I'll do it just as soon as I get off work!" She got up. "Thanks, Jennifer! You're a life saver!"

"I know," Jennifer replied serenely as Bailey marched back to her own desk.   The receptionist sighed happily and returned to the fashion magazine she was reading.

* * *

Johnny Fever was spending his evening the way he spent all his evenings -- sprawled on his sofa bed, stuporously watching the primetime soaps flicker across his old TV. A half-empty bottle of tequila sat on the scarred end table, but it was long since forgotten. Except for the time spent at the station, his life moved in a sort of vacuum; he had no real friends in Cincinnati besides the guys at WKRP and seldom went out since he had to get up at 4:30 for his 6:00 morning show. Not that anyone was listening at 6:00, but Moss, the night-time deejay, had a tendency to walk out promptly at 5:59 and dead air prevailed if Johnny wasn't there to take over.

He had just about dozed off when a knock at the door startled him into wakefulness. Wondering muzzily who it could be, he was astonished to find Bailey Quarters standing outside his apartment door.

"Bailey! This is a surprise! Come in!" He stood aside to let her enter and barely had the door closed before she threw her arms around him, kissing him soundly. Stunned, he could only stare at her when she pulled away.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Because I've been wanting to do it for a long time," she answered. "I've been attracted to you ever since I've known you and I just decided to throw caution to the winds and let the world know it!"

Johnny stood silent for a moment, then pinned her with a skeptical look and demanded. "Did Herb put you up to this?"

"Johnny!" Bailey looked offended. "Nobody put me up to this. Nobody knows that I'm here. It's the truth. I think I've been in love with you ever since I came to KRP but I was just too shy to tell you before."

He was beginning to believe her now but was still at a loss. "But, for Pete's sake. Bailey ... why me? Why not Travis? I mean ... I'm flattered as all hell, but I'm old enough ... well, _nearly_ old enough to be your father!"

"I'm 26 years old," she retorted softly, moving up close to him again and slipping her arms around his waist.

"And I'm 40," he replied, disconcerted by her nearness. "Really ... I don't know what I can offer you."

She began to methodically pull his T-shirt out of his jeans, smiling up at him. "I think you're very sexy," she whispered and slid one hand up under his shirt.

He swallowed and warned, "Bailey ... you're starting something you may not want to finish."

She replied in a murmur and brought her lips up to his again. This time he gave in to it, still bewildered by the circumstances, but folding her in his arms and working on the kiss. She slid her hands down his back and firmly into the back pockets of his jeans.

When he lifted his head, he was completely serious. "Are you sure about this, Bailey? Because, if you're not, you better leave right now before ... well, before I do something we might regret later."

In answer, she walked over to the television and turned it off. Then, with slow, deliberate motions, she began to unbutton her shirt.

* * *

The clock read 5:10 a.m. as Johnny sat down on the edge of the bed, dressed in his pea jacket and black wool cap, and watched as Bailey sleepily blinked up at him. She was absolutely beautiful, he decided, with her chestnut hair spreading out on the pillow. He trailed a finger down her cheek and across one smooth bare shoulder.

"I've got to go," he said softly.

"I know," she whispered. "It was great last night. I wish you didn't have a show this morning."

He closed his eyes and swallowed. _Down boy_ , he told himself firmly. "I'll see you later. Be careful going to work."

"I will. I'll see you there."

He bent down and kissed her, then quickly got up and left the apartment, locking the door behind him.

Shaking his head, he hurried down the steps to his battered old Karmann Ghia, thinking that he'd either lost his mind totally or had finally struck gold.

* * *

"All right, Cincinnati! You got the Doctor here and it is time to _get down_ with the Eagles and a little 'Witchy Woman'!" Johnny expertly spun the record and leaned back in his chair, eyes closed and an unclouded smile lifting the corners of his mustache as he let the music embrace him.

Outside the broadcast booth, Andy Travis paused and smiled in response to Fever's obvious good spirits this morning. It always gave a boost to his day when Johnny came in this clear-eyed and didn't have to be coaxed out from under his desk. On impulse, Andy opened the door and stepped inside the booth, staggered for a second by the volume of the music.

Johnny became aware of his presence and reached over to twist the knob that turned off the sound in the booth. Travis grinned and commented, "You're sure in a good mood this morning. Must've had some kind of night, huh?"

Fever leaned back, hands behind his head, and smiled secretively behind his dark glasses. "Andy, if I told you that I found the end of the rainbow, you wouldn't believe me."

"That good, huh?" Andy chuckled and slapped Johnny on the shoulder. "Well, all I can say is go for it, man. Grab her and don't let her go." Still chuckling, he left the broadcast booth and went up to the bull pen to get some coffee.

Bailey was sitting dreamily at her desk, leaning her chin on her left hand, the pencil in her right lazily tapping against the news report before her. Andy hesitated then leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Wake up."

Bailey started, nearly knocking her glasses off, and turned to stare at Travis. "I'm sorry, Andy, my mind was wandering, I guess."

"Okay," he said, one corner of his mouth turning up and went over to the coffee pot. As he was going back through the glass doors, Johnny passed him, mug in hand, and Andy idly wondered how many "cups" of coffee this made. It seemed to him that Johnny averaged about fifteen a morning.

"Hello," Johnny greeted Bailey.

"Hello," she smiled back up at him. He leaned down and kissed her.

Andy stopped in his tracks and did a double-take. His insides sinking, he stuck his head back into the office and said, "Johnny? See you for a minute?"

"Sure thing, Andy."

As Fever closed the door to his office, Travis said wearily, "Johnny, are you aware of the non-fraternization rules here?"

Fever shrugged non-commitally. "Yeah."

Andy stood with his arms crossed, his eyes steady on the other man's face. "Is there something going on between you and Bailey?"

Johnny frowned and responded, "It doesn't concern you, Andy."

"If it involves this station, it concerns me!" Andy's face softened a little. "Look, what you do outside the office is your own business, man, but the rules weren't just made arbitrarily. They're there for a reason. Office affairs are bad news. I've seen it happen before."

"Just stay out of it, will ya, Andy? I can handle it."

"All right, then, handle it. But if it goes on, I'll have to go to Carlson with it and one or both of you will have to go."

Johnny turned away, then paused with his hand on the doorknob, his head down. "I love her, Andy," he said softly.

Travis sighed heavily. "I love her, too, Johnny. And I love you, too, man. I don't want to see either one of you hurt. Please just think about what I said."

Johnny nodded and went out. Andy sat down at his desk, feeling leaden.

* * *

Near the end of the morning show, Venus Flytrap bopped into the broadcast booth, resplendent in an electric blue outfit and his usual good humor. Johnny had a record on but the sound was turned down and he was sitting quietly, looking introspective.

"Hey, my man," Venus announced. "What it is?"

"Trouble in River City," Fever answered.

Venus dropped the jive. "What's going on?"

Johnny shook his head. "I'm up shit creek without a paddle."

"Huh?"

Johnny motioned for him to sit down and told him the story. Venus stared incredulously. "Oh, man! This is worse than when you said 'bugger' on the air! What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll just go throw myself in the Ohio and end it all." He paused to punch up a commercial and another record with only a short introduction, then turned the sound down again. "I must've been out of my mind last night to get carried away like that."

"Have you talked to Bailey?"

"I don't know how to face her, man. The thing is, I really _do_ love her. I just don't know if I love her _that_ way, y'know? I thought I did ... but now I'm not sure …" He sighed. "I ought to know ... I loved my two ex-wives that way and the chicks I lived with ... but I just don't know..."

"Well, you better come to _some_ kind of decision, man," Venus told him, then slipped back into jive in an effort to lighten Johnny's mood. "Or you can kiss yo' sweet ass goodbye! You white folks sho' do complicate things! All you gotta do is walk up to her and say, 'Hey, mama, looka here -- you some kinda foxy lady, you know? But I was just jivin' you las' night, hear?'"

Johnny laughed in spite of himself and Venus sobered a bit. "Get it worked out, man. Or Andy'll fire you. He'd rather cut off his arm than do it, but he'll do it."

"I know." Johnny looked at the clock; it was 9:57. One short record then it would be time for the 10:00 news and for Sandy, the 10-to-2 deejay, to take over. Fever did his closing bit, cued the record and turned the sound back down.

He stood up and faced Venus. "Thanks for listening, man," he said and held out his hand. "You're a good friend." Venus clasped hands with him and on impulse Johnny pulled him into a quick, grateful hug.

On cue, Les walked into the booth and stopped dead in his tracks, eyeing the two in horror. Unable to pass up a golden opportunity, both men greeted him then nonchalantly strolled out of the broadcast booth hand-in-hand.

* * *

Later that morning, Arthur Carlson was testing out his new rod and reel when a worried Les Nessman slipped into his office.

"What is it, Les?" Carlson asked, annoyed at being interrupted.

"Mr. Carlson, I think there's something you should know." Les answered hesitantly. The newsman hemmed and hawed for a moment then blurted out. "I have reason to suspect that Johnny Fever and Venus Flytrap are homosexual lovers!"

"What?!" Carlson spluttered, jerking a large backlash around the spindle of his reel.  "What are you talking about, Les?"

"Well ... this isn't easy to put delicately," Nessman replied. "But ... I caught them holding hands in the broadcast booth!"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Les." Carlson waved him off. "Go do your news report."

Offended, Les drew all his pride around his small stature. "Well, don't say I didn't warn you when Jennifer isn't the only one wearing a dress around here!" With that, he marched out.

* * *

Distraught, Bailey pulled Jennifer into the ladies' lounge. "Jennifer, I've got to talk to you!"

The lovely blonde had seldom seen the younger woman so upset and asked, "What is it, Bailey?"

"Oh, Jennifer, I've done a terrible thing! I'm going to get fired because of it!"

"What? Calm down, Bailey. What have you done?"

"Do you remember yesterday when I told you about the guy I was attracted to and you said to let him know it?" Jennifer nodded, a vague feeling of icy apprehension growing in her. Bailey turned away as tears blurred her vision and choked out, "It's Johnny."

Jennifer felt her legs going weak. "A chair. I need a chair." Finding none, she steeled herself and stared at the other woman in horror. "But ... but, Bailey -- that's fraternization! What ... I mean ... how far ... I mean ... did you--"

Miserable, Bailey nodded mutely.

Jennifer leaned against the wall weakly. "Oh, my Lord..." Her eyes wide, she asked, "Does Andy know?"

Again, Bailey nodded. "I'm sure he does. He called Johnny into his office this morning and I've been expecting him to call me in. too. I've been too afraid to say anything to either one of them all morning."

"Well. Andy will be fair about it," Jennifer reasoned. "But, you've got to stop it right now, Bailey! It's not just your job; it's Johnny's too."

"I know." Bailey wiped the tears from her face and sighed heavily. "I just don't know how to face Johnny, though. I've been doing a lot of thinking and ... I like him an awful, awful lot. I really do. But ... I don't think I'm in love with him. I think it was ... I don't know ... fantasy fulfillment, maybe?" She swung around to face Jennifer, her face full of appeal. "You've had a lot of experience with men. Jennifer; what should I do? I don't want to hurt him but--"

"There's no easy way." Jennifer said gently. "But you've got to do it." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Bailey. I had no idea or I would never have--"

"Oh, it's not your fault. I should have had more sense."

Jennifer smiled. "The heart is never a sensible organ."

Bailey laughed and hugged her friend gratefully. "I'll talk to him at lunch. Thanks, Jennifer."

"Okay," the receptionist said and pushed Bailey away to inspect her face critically. "Brush hair, fix mascara, powder' nose ... then back to work! It's not as bad as all that. You'll live; I know."

Bailey quickly repaired the damage and Jennifer took her hand in support. Together they left the ladies' lounge, oblivious to the startled stare they received from Les, whom they passed in the hall.

* * *

Carlson had just about gotten the backlash picked out when Les burst into his office again. "Mr. Carlson -- it's worse than I thought! Jennifer and Bailey are at it, too!"

Carlson fixed him with a baleful glare and retorted in a low voice, "Think about what you're saying, Les. _Jennifer_???"

Les paused thoughtfully for a moment then answered. "Yes, I see what you mean. But, something's going on, Mr. Carlson!"

"Look. Les, I'll have Andy look into it, all right?"

"Well ... I suppose so..."

"Good, now I've got a lot of work to do here, so close the door on your way out, okay?"

"Well..." Still unconvinced, Les shuffled out.

* * *

Bailey stiffened as Johnny came into the main office and made his way to the coffee pot. He didn't look at her or seem to notice her at all, but, with his back to her, asked conversationally. "Lunch?"

"Okay," she answered in the same noncommittal tone, not turning around.

"Fine. Fifteen minutes?"

"Okay."

"Fine." He walked back out, still not looking at her and she relaxed.

Herb turned around at his desk and lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing, Herb," she answered innocently. ·"Can't I make a lunch date if I want to?"

He shrugged and turned back around. But after Bailey had tucked her purse under her arm and left the office, he nonchalantly got up and put on his orange plaid suit jacket. "Got some sales calls to make, Les," he announced for the benefit of the bewildered newsman and quickly strode from the office.

* * *

The restaurant they had picked was bustling with noontime business, the noise level just enough to effectively block out casual eavesdropping. They were shown to a high-backed circular booth near the center of the dining room, where they sat a discreet distance apart. Bailey picked at her shrimp salad while Johnny worried his cheeseburger and fries into an unrecognizable mess.

Finally Bailey laid down her fork with a sigh and looked at him. "We've got to talk about this, Johnny. Andy threatened to fire you, didn't he?"

Johnny pushed his plate away. ·"I'm not worried about that. I've been fired from more radio stations than I can remember. But ... well..." He reached out and took her hand between both of his. "Bailer, what we did last night was wrong. I--"

"No, don't say it, Johnny. You don't have to." Her soft grey eyes sought his blue ones. ·"It was all my fault. I know that. And I know it can't go any farther than this. But..." She smiled. "I still think you're very sexy."

He returned her smile warmly. ·"Last night will always be very special to me," he said. "And so will you. Maybe sometime in the future we can pick up where we left off."

"I'd like that very much, Johnny," she answered and leaned over to kiss him softly.

He squeezed her hand and smiled, a little embarrassed. "Come on, let's get out of here." He tossed a dollar on the table as a tip and picked up the check. As they walked away, he put one arm companionably around her shoulders while Herb, in the booth behind them, stared after them in horrified delight.

* * *

Andy looked up from his desk, a little apprehensive, as Johnny strode confidently into the programming office and installed himself on the couch. Before he could say anything, the deejay assured him. "No problem, Andy. You can rest easy. It's all over."

"Well, I'm relieved to hear that," Travis answered, relaxing. "I'm sorry about having to say anything but I've seen whole offices come apart at the seams over something like this."

"Hey, no problem," Johnny repeated. "We're adults here. I told you I could handle it."

"Is ... uh ... Bailey taking it okay? I haven't talked to her."

"Sure ... sure she is." The corners of Johnny's mustache drooped for a second then came back up in a confident smile.

Andy had seen his friend's hesitation and wasn't so sure; he resolved to have a word with Bailey later on, just for his own peace of mind.

* * *

Carlson was sorting out tackle on his desk when Herb barged into the office without preamble.

"Big Guy, better hold on to your hat!" the sales manager announced.

" _Herb_! Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"Huh? Well, never mind that, Big Guy." Herb leaned forward to emphasize his news. "Have you heard about Johnny and Bailey?" he asked pointedly.

"Yeah, yeah, Les has already told me all about it," Carlson answered distractedly. "And Venus and Jennifer, too."

Herb was momentarily speechless. " _Venus and Jennifer_??" he echoed, totally astonished.

"Yeah ... look, Herb, whatever they want to do is their own business ... just as long as it doesn't interfere with their work." Carlson went back to picking through the assorted fishing lures spread out on his desk. "Now, will you get outa here and leave me alone?"

Rebuffed and stunned, Tarlek complied, giving Jennifer an incredulous look as he went by her desk.

* * *

Bailey looked up from her work as Andy parked one hip on her desk. "How's it going?" he asked casually, his eyes steady on hers.

"I'm okay, Andy, really," she answered. "Things have been resolved."

"You sure?" Andy studied her face meaningfully. "If you need to talk, my door's open."

She smiled with genuine affection. "I know. Thanks, Andy."

"Okay." He stood up and patted her softly on the shoulder.

Herb stalked in and dropped heavily into his chair, which he swung around in order to pin Bailey with a determined stare. Andy saw trouble coming and crossed his arms, waiting for it.

"How's it going, Bailey?" Tarlek asked.

"How's what going, Herb?" she replied serenely, refusing to break eye contact with him.

"Lunch?"

"It was very nice, thank you."

"Did Johnny enjoy it?"

"I wouldn't know. Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Travis couldn't suppress a smile, seeing that Bailey had turned Herb's own game against him, and decided that she could handle it from here. As he was leaving, Les came in and made his way through the yellow taped lines on the floor surrounding his desk.

Herb, who was beginning to squirm under Bailey's unflinching gaze, got up and sauntered over to him. "You know something, Les?" he said. "There's something _pret-ty_ strange going on around here."

"Have you noticed it, too?" Nessman asked hopefully. "I thought I was imagining things."

"Nope. And I don't think the Big Guy is going to do anything about it."

Les looked thoughtful. "He _did_ seem pretty unconcerned about it all."

"Well, Lester, _we're_ not going to stand for it!" Herb declared, thumping his fist on the news desk. " _You're_ going to march right in there and demand he do something about it!"

" _Me_?!" Les squeaked.

"You're the news director, aren't you? You've made WKRP what it is, haven't you? Les, you've got a duty to root this thing out at the source! Where's your sense of responsibility? Why, a story like this could win you another Buckeye Newshawk Award!"

Nessman's beady eyes had begun to shine behind the thick glasses. "By golly, Herb, you're right! I'll do it!"

* * *

After leaving the main office, Andy had wandered up to the front desk to speak to Jennifer then knocked and stuck his head into Mr. Carlson's office.

He found the station manager in an awkward position. Testing out a new fishing lure, Carlson had executed a botched over-the-shoulder cast which had snagged the seat of his pants and was now firmly entangled there thanks to Carlson's attempts to free it.

Carlson looked startled then hopeful. "Oh, Travis, am I glad to see you! I can't get this darn thing loose!"

"Well, here, let me take a look at it, Mr. Carlson. Oh, that doesn't look so bad. I think I can get it worked out." Andy knelt behind his boss and worked at the tangled lure. "I'm afraid I might snag _you_. Why don't you let your pants down? That'll give me more leeway to work and you won't get stuck either."

"You think so?" Carlson hesitated. "But ... uh ... I mean..."

"Oh, come on, Mr. Carlson," Andy coaxed. "It's just us boys here. Nobody's gonna see you."

"Well ... all right."

Carlson dropped his trousers, revealing a pair of striped boxer shorts, and Travis, still on his knees, set to work again. "Now, don't you worry, Mr. Carlson, I've done this lots of times with my brother back home."

At that precise instant, the office door opened and they both turned to see Les Nessman's astounded face.

"Mr. Carlson!" he cried in despair. "Not you and Andy, too!!"

 

THE END


End file.
